It Was Nice in the Beginning...

Sunday night, I met the Triathlete for dessert. I'd suggested brunch, but he was off running, swimming, and biking that morning. I've known of the Triathlete for a while as we have several mutual friends, but it wasn't until I recognized him on OKCupid that I got the chance to actually “talk” to him.

He picked me up at my house, right on time, and we headed down the street to an awesome bar/restaurant that serves all locally-sourced foods. He couldn't resist the allure of the salted caramel cupcake with bacon, and I had a delicious peach crumble. If only it had been a la mode.

I had a lot of fun talking to him, and I thought we had a nice balance going of talking and listening. I hate those dates where it feels like one person is doing all the talking. Especially when I'm that person. I hate feeling like I'm on a job interview and I have to give the “right” answers. But it wasn't like that with the Triathlete. I think it helped that we already knew a little bit about each other. Or maybe more accurately, I knew a little bit about him, including his accordion playing and museum work. (I'm starting to wonder if I have a “thing” for accordion players.)

As I write this, though, I'm starting to wonder- how much did he actually ask about me and my interests? We talked about my thesis, and we talked about our political views (I know, never something that should come up on a first date, but we were both in agreement so it wasn't horribly uncomfortable,) but I can't remember talking about “me.” Hm.

We sat at the table for about three hours, sharing a couple beers, and then we decided it was time to head out. We got the check, and I asked my usual question- “do you want to split?” He said sure. I was honestly taken a little aback. It's not that it was a trick question at all- I was totally willing to pay my half- but he'd had twice as many drinks as me, and he let me pay for half the bill. Maybe he didn't realize it? I don't know.

So we walked back to the car and he drove me home. As we arrived at my house, he parked, but kept his seatbelt on. In the words of a teenage girl, he was like, “okay...” and I was like, “okay...” and then he was like “okay...” some more. Finally, I asked for a hug, and he unbuckled his seatbelt and gave me one. There was no attempt for a kiss.

Obviously, this entire exchange left me confused. The date had seemed to have gone well, but the end was just so...strange. I immediately got online to some of my guy friends to get their take on it. There was no consensus- comments ranged from “maybe he's just awkward” to “maybe he doesn't kiss on the first date” to “maybe he wasn't feeling it.” Since I wasn't sure which one of those it was, I decided to go out on a limb and message him again the next morning on the dating site. My message was brief, just a “I had fun, let's do it again?” type of thing.

Then I waited.

Finally, several hours later, I got a response back. It said (very nicely) that he'd sincerely had fun talking, but he wasn't up for another date. The kicker was his closer- “I'm sure I'll see you around.”

So, in case anyone was wondering, I do occasionally strike out.