Friday night the Dreamer came over for dinner. After our conversation on Wednesday when he told me that pizza was the healthiest thing he'd eaten all week, I'd offered up a standing invitation to come over whenever I make dinner. He'd originally had a date planned with another girl for Friday night, but when that fell through I got a text from him, “When's dinner?”
I love to cook. I love all different kinds of foods, especially those with “exotic” spices, so I am constantly experimenting with new recipes. This time it was a peanut sauce for stir fry over noodles. Both the Dreamer and I are peanut butter fiends, so it was the perfect choice. Unfortunately for the Dreamer, though, I cook mostly vegetarian, so my response to “when's dinner?” was “how do you feel about tofu?” Unsurprisingly, he wasn't enthused about that idea. To compromise, I made tofu for mine and gave him a chicken breast to cook for his. Relationships are all about give and take, you know!
After dinner we started watching a movie, but abandoned it about halfway through in favor of going up to my bedroom. While making out, he asked what kinds of toys I had to play with.
Music to my ears.
I'd recently invested in some stripper clothes and 6-inch heels. Now, I don't know any man who would object to his girlfriend, or any woman really, putting on stripper clothes and dancing for him. Amirite? They're not really a toy, per se, but still something fun to spice things up. So I got dressed up, wiggled around a bit, and practically purred when he looked me in the eye and said “I'm going to take you.”
Sex is hotter in stripper heels.
While we were cuddling afterwards, we started talking. I've been telling him recently how much I like him (spoiler: it's a LOT), but he hasn't really been saying that same. Being a woman, that makes me nervous. Being a rational woman, I asked him about it instead of jumping to conclusions.
“Of course I like you,” he said. “If I didn't, I wouldn't be with you.”
Good point. I'm learning that the Dreamer is just not comfortable verbalizing his feelings. Instead of hearing him say things like “I like you,” I feel it, like when he pulls me close while spooning. I'm still getting used to it, but I think it's important to remind myself that I don't have to hear him say the words for him to “really” mean it. I've encountered that problem with boyfriends in the past- it wasn't enough for them to show me, I had to hear them say it. Of course I'm not going to let him off the hook of ever saying it, but it doesn't have to be as constant as my emotions tell me it should be.
We also had another discussion about polyamory that night. I'm pretty open in talking to him about the guys I'm dating and the things we do, but I wanted to make sure that's okay with him. He said he doesn't mind hearing about it. Next I asked him if he was still okay with me dating other people.
“Yeah. I mean, as long as I'm your main one, you know.”
“You are. You're my 'primary,' my main squeeze. That's why I asked you to be my boyfriend. It doesn't mean I like you more or better than the other guys I'm dating, just that I like you different. I can imagine a future with you; it's more than just dating for 'fun'.”
“Mmm. I like that,” he told me.
It was a good way to end the night.
No comments:
Post a Comment