Back in January, just after moving to this city, I went on a date with McCool. It was one of the best first dates I've ever been on- we completely hit it off over dinner, great chemistry, so much fun to talk to- the works. He's a video game writer, and has worked on some big name games that I'm sure all of you, even non-gamers, have heard of. He's 30 (I'm beginning to think that's the ideal age for me to date, since all my good dates lately have been with 30ish year olds), a little taller than me, with a shaved head, goatee, and piercing green eyes. He wears glasses- ah, glasses. Let me explain.
I've always been a very liberal arts-minded person, thriving in language, literature, and history classes. I'm also a very competitive person. This has lead to me feeling uncomfortable dating people who also have liberal arts backgrounds, because I don't like competing with them to see who is “better” at literature or history. But I also find intelligence immensely attractive. It's not actually about getting a degree or having a repository of tons of knowledge, but having the mental aptitude and critical thinking skills. So in general, I'm attracted to math and science-type people. I find it incredibly hot when the person I'm with can excel at something I'm not good at. Of course, while glasses don't make one smarter, they give the impression of nerdyness. So glasses are a definitely plus.
McCool has an extremely busy schedule, especially when projects are started or nearing completion. Because of this, he didn't have a lot of freetime available for a date. Instead of doing dinner or another evening activity, we decided to meet for lunch. Even though we only had about an hour, it was really fun. We talked about hookers, and video games, and zombies. We were both laughing like fools, and I felt really comfortable just being myself around him. Afterwards, he walked me to his car and right as we kissed, it started to rain. It was a very sweet moment.
The date went so well that I broke the rule about waiting a day to contact him. (Side note: I want to know who wrote these “rules.” Some of them are just so stupid and arbitrary. Don't we at least get to vote on them first?) I told him over instant messenger what a great time I'd had, and he said the feeling was mutual. When I asked when we were going to get together again, he asked when I wanted to and I told him that night. He said he wished he could.
With such a great beginning, then, it was surprising to me what happened next. We scheduled a second date for late on a weeknight, after I got out of class. At the last minute, he had to cancel because of work. That was no problem, of course- I know what it's like to be busy beyond belief. But when I tried to reschedule a few days later, he kept dodging giving a date. Finally, I left it as “when you find a time that will work for you, you let me know.”
But he didn't let me know anything. A couple days went by without hearing anything from him, and when I did, it was just idle nerdy chit-chat over IM. I didn't want to come across as the weird girl that kept pushing another date, but I did mention it at least once that I was still hoping we could get together again. He just seemed to blow it off.
Eventually I gave up. I figured that he either had started dating someone else, or had lost interest in me as anything more than an internet friend. Either way, I wasn't going to push it. I stopped initiating IMs, and before I knew it a couple weeks had passed.
Then Thursday night, my chat box pinged with a new message, from McCool. We spent a few minutes catching up, and he asked me what I'd been up to. I told him just school and dates, the usual. Then I asked about him. Had he been on any fun dates recently?
“No,” he said. “I've been on one date since you.”
Well, that blew my first theory out of the water! It wasn't that he was seeing someone else, so it must have been that he wasn't interested in having another with me.
“Well, why not?” I asked.
“I guess women don't find me that attractive.”
“That's not true,” I said, “and besides, you know I would love to go out with you again.”
“I actually didn't know that,” he replied.
My heart started skipped a beat. This entire time, he figured I had been the one to lose interest! He apologized again for canceling our second date, and I explained that it wasn't upsetting that he'd canceled it, but rather that I had felt pushy in always being the one to bring up re-scheduling. I told him flat-out that I needed him to show more interest in getting together again, even if it wasn't able to be right away because of his work schedule.
“Wow,” he told me, “that's really direct. I like it.”
We left things at that for now, but we'll see. If he does as I hope and initiates another date, maybe McCool will be staying in the picture!
McCool sounds...cool!
ReplyDeleteGood luck with him :)