One of the problems with dating so many people as I am is that with only so many hours in a day, and only so many free days in a week, people slip through the cracks. That's what had been happening with the Anarchist- either I was already busy with school or other plans, or he was doing stuff for the big May Day even happening next week. That's right- not only is he an anarchist, he's also a human rights advocate. Hot.
We finally got our schedules in line for Friday. We didn't set any specific plans, though- just picked the date. I've found that really helps to satisfy my desire for plans without upsetting my love of spontaneity. In other words, I have issues. He said his friends at an anarchist publisher were having a sort-of cocktail fundraiser party, so we decided to go to that.
Now, I had to no idea what to expect at an anarchist cocktail fundraiser. Are anarchists even allowed to have fundraisers? That seems very un-anarchist-like. Fight the power!
When we walked in, I immediately noticed the guy behind the bar was checking me out. Every time I glanced over, he was looking at me. Not in a creepy, lecherous way, though. I think it helped that he was really cute. Apparently the way anarchists do a fundraiser is to have a lot of booze and suggest that you make a donation to drink it. Or not. And you can have the bartender mix your drink. Or you can just dig the cherries out of the jar. Whatever, man! It's anarchy!
Actually, it was pretty fun. All the people were really nice, even the mega-hipster with his fu manchu and muttonchops. It was an...interesting combination. But I spent most of the time talking to that cute bartender. It turns out that he has a MS in Chemistry, and is considering getting his PhD. Let me tell you, there is nothing hotter than a science-y guy getting an advanced degree (eg: Mr. Dimple.) After flirting for a while, he finally asked me, “so are you and the Anarchist an item?”
Strangely, that isn't the first time I've been asked that about the Anarchist. Well, to be more accurate, last time it was him that was asked. That time the Anarchist ended up giving my number to the Nigerian (after asking my permission, of course). So I explained that no, we weren't an item, though we do date occasionally.
“Hmm,” he told me. “Well, I think you should very subtly give me your number.” I laughed at the apparently need for secrecy, but complied. Cute, anarchistic chemists don't come around every day!
Not long after, the Anarchist and I left the party. By this point, I was pretty blitzed. One and a half manhattans and a whiskey martini will do that to me. Now, if I'd been thinking straight, I probably would have suggested we scrap out plans to go out for sushi. I clearly wasn't, though.
Eating sushi while drunk- not easy. I managed to get most of it in my mouth, at least! I had been planning to go home after dinner, not spend the night at the Anarchist's house. But the farmer's market I go to every Saturday morning is less than three blocks from his house. That meant I was very easily persuaded to go back to his house.
Now, let me be honest. The Anarchist is good in bed, there's no doubt about that. The problem is, there is no way for him to climax from sex. He claims that he can occasionally, but I call shenanigans. The problem is, he has a certain way of masturbating that is nothing at all like having sex. I've known several other guys with the same problem- you get used to the way that doing something certain feels, and nothing else you do can reproduce it. My favorite sex columnist, Dan Savage, has also talked about this topic, more than once.
My point isn't to bring up the Anarchist's specific sexual intricacies, but more to point out that it's easy to forget that each of us is different. It's so often considered a female problem to not get off with sex, but that's not always the way it is. I keep reading in feminist blogs, especially lately, about how only 1/3 of women can even have a vaginal orgasm. Thankfully, I belong to this group; on the other hand, though, it makes it hard for me to imagine being on the other side of things. Just food for thought, I guess.
Or maybe I'm saying to all those guys that are so used to masturbating- go find yourself some women to screw before it's too late.
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